⛬ For English please scroll.
Εδώ και σχεδόν έναν χρόνο δεν έχω δημοσιεύσει
τίποτα στο μπλογκ μου για πολλούς και διάφορους λόγους. Έχω σκοπό να ανεβάσω τις επόμενες μέρες μία νέα ιστορία και πραγματικά ανυπομονώ να την μοιραστώ μαζί σας.
Η διαδικασία που ακολουθώ όταν έχω
μία ιδέα είναι η εξής. Πρώτα είναι η επίσκεψη της μούσας, η έμπνευση, συνήθως αυτή
προέρχεται από κάποιο όνειρο που θυμάμαι και την επόμενη μέρα. Όταν έχω έμπνευση είμαι
ανυπόμονη, γράφω γρήγορα και χωρίς να πολυσκεφτώ, από φόβο μην χαθεί αυτό το συναίσθημα
που μου κινεί τα χέρια. Αν μπορούσατε να δείτε τα κείμενα αυτά, θα διαβάζατε ακαταλαβίστικα
λόγια κάτι σαν τους χρησμούς της Πυθίας. Όταν πληκτρολογώ το κείμενο σε αυτή την
φάση προσπαθώ να μην πολυσκέφτομαι το λεξιλόγιο ή το συντακτικό, αν και μου έχει
κολλήσει το μικρόβιο και προσέχω να μην κάνω τραγικά λάθη. Μετά έχω ένα χούι, από
την εφηβεία είχα συνηθίσει να γράφω ή και να σκέφτομαι ακόμα στα αγγλικά. Όταν αποφάσισα
πριν καιρό να δημοσιεύσω την πρώτη μου ιστορία και πήγα να κάνω την μετάφραση
από τα Ελληνικά στα Αγγλικά κατάλαβα πως στην ουσία δεν ξέρω καμία από τις δυο γλώσσες
και τώρα με έχει πιάσει τρομερό άγχος πως το κείμενο μου δεν βγάζει νόημα.
Η δεύτερη φάση της διαδικασίας είναι
αυτή της αποκωδικοποίησης των ακαταλαβίστικων ιδεών, ψάχνω συνώνυμα ή φράσεις, μεταφράζω.
Εδώ οι μεταφράσεις με βοήθησαν γιατί δυστυχώς δεν υπάρχουν αρκετά λεξικά στην
γλώσσα μας στο διαδίκτυο και καμιά φορά μπορεί να βρω την λέξη που ψάχνω στα Αγγλικά.
Αυτή η διαδικασία παίρνει αρκετό καιρό γιατί όσο διορθώνω παρατηρώ και ασυνέπειες
στο νόημα άρα μπορεί να προσθέσω μια πρόταση ή δυο για να μην υπάρχουν κενά
στην αφήγηση.
Η ιστορία που επρόκειτο να ανεβάσω ονομάζεται
“Ήρθε το τέλος”. Αρχικά ήταν τρεις σελίδες, που έγιναν έντεκα και με την μορφοποίηση
στο έγγραφο δεκαεννιά. Έχω ζητήσει από άνθρωπο που γνωρίζει πολύ καλά Αγγλικά
να ελέγξει αυτό που έχω γράψει για αυτό η καθυστέρηση.
Σήμερα θα μοιραστώ μαζί σας μία σύντομη ιστορία της μίας παραγράφου, που έχει αξία για εμένα γιατί είναι από αυτές που εμπνεύστηκα σε μία στιγμή απελπισίας. Είναι φορές που πέφτω τόσο πολύ ψυχολογικά και τότε, καμιά φορά όχι πάντα, θα μου έρθει κάποια τέτοια έμπνευση που σε εμένα λειτουργεί με το ίδιο τρόπο όπως τα κλειδιά σε ένα νήπιο που κλαίει. Αυτή την είχα γράψει το καλοκαίρι του 2013 στην Σκόπελο, ένα βράδυ δίπλα από την πισίνα του ξενοδοχείου που έμενα. Αποφάσισα να μην την μεταφράσω και να σας δώσω δυο εκδόσεις, την αρχική και μία βελτιωμένη.
Emptiness is filling me to the point of agony.
It was dark and only in the light you could see, in colors, the shapes of things and all. Bright beams of purple and blue and sometimes green lights, gave a glimpse of things so little you weren't sure that they were real. And into that so-called reality I saw what must have been the most beautiful creature I ever met and in these lights it was ethereal. In the background a harsh suicide -I think- song was playing. In the few seconds that the light hit my acquaintance, I heard these words “Have you ever felt as if you were the only person in the world?” a phrase for which I filled the blanks, by stretching my ears to hear the words both coming from you and the suicide song. It expressed exactly what I was feeling that night and was in perfect sync with the melody that filled the black void among us. I turned my head around to make sure that the song was actually speaking of suicide because right next to the phrase I just been told, it sounded like a message for me. But at that instance the song had no words, I had made a pause, lost the lyrics and by turning my head that someone I just saw. And as usual, that pause was more than enough to make me forget what I was searching for and a new query blacked out the entire scene.
[Unedited version]
It was dark and only in the dim light you could see in colors the shapes of things and all. Bright beams of colorful light gave a glimpse of things so little you weren't sure that they were real. Colors of purple and blue and sometimes green. And into that so called reality I saw what it should be the most beautiful creature I ever met. And in these lights it was ethereal. And in the background a harsh suicide song, I think. And for a few seconds the light hit my acquaintance I hear these words “Have you ever felt as you were the only person in the world” in a phrase I fill the lines stretching my eyes to hear the words from you and the suicide song. And it was so strongly fitting phrase of how everything came to made me feel this night and it was so amazingly suitable with the song. I felt so uncomfortable that some stranger said that, I turn my head in an effort to make sure that the song was actually speaking of suicide because with the phrase I just spoken to it, was like a message to me. But that time the song had no words and I had just made a pause to lost and the lyrics and by turning my head that someone I just saw. And as most of the times that pause was strong enough to make me forget what I was searching for and a new query blanked the entire scene.
⛬
For almost a year now I have not posted anything on my blog for various reasons. I intend to upload a new story in the coming days and I really look forward to sharing it with you.
The process I follow when I have an idea is as follows. First is the visit of the muse, the inspiration, usually it comes from a dream that I remember the next day. When I have an inspiration I am impatient, I write quickly and without much thought, out of fear of losing this feeling that moves my hands. If you could see these texts, you would read incomprehensible words, kind of like the oracles of Pythia. When I type the text at this phase I try not to think too much about the vocabulary or the syntax, although lately I get too anxious about this and being careful not to make tragic mistakes. Then I have a quirk from when I was a teen, I’ve used to write or even think in English. When I decided a long time ago to publish my first story and went to do the translation from Greek to English I realized that I do not know either of the two languages and now I am terribly anxious that my text doesn't make sense.
The second phase of the process is that of decoding the incomprehensible ideas, I look for synonyms or phrases, I translate. Here the translation helped me because unfortunately there are no dictionaries in Greek on the internet and sometimes I can find the word I am looking for in English. This process takes a long time because as I edit the text I notice inconsistencies in the meaning so I might add a sentence or two so that there are no gaps in the narration.
The story I’m going to upload is called "This is the end". Initially it was three pages long, which became eleven and with the formatting in the document nineteen. I have asked a person who knows English very well to check what I have written and that is why the delay.
Today I am sharing with you a paragraph long story, that means a lot to me because it is one of those that I inspired in a moment of despair. There are times when I get too depressed and then, sometimes not always, I will get some such inspiration that works for me in the same way as keys to a crying toddler. This one I wrote it in the summer of 2013 in Skopelos, one night by the pool of the hotel where I was staying. I’m sharing two versions, the original and the edit one. *see above the 3 red dots.
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